I Can Feel...

"So Unsexy"

Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly
One small sideways look and I feel so ungood
Somewhere along the way I think I gave you the power to make
Me feel the way I thought only my father could
Oh these little rejections how they seem so real to me
One forgotten birthday I'm all but cooked
How these little abandonments seem to sting so easily
I'm 13 again am I 13 for good?
I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind
Oh these little protections how they fail to serve me
One forgotten phone call and I'm deflated
Oh these little defenses how they fail to comfort me
Your hand pulling away and I'm devastated
I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mindWhen will you stop leaving baby?
When will I stop deserting baby?
When will I start staying with myself?
Oh these little projections how they keep springing from me
I jump my ship as I take it personally
Oh these little rejections how they disappear quickly
The moment I decide not to abandon me
I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind
I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind

Valentines Day

Valentines Day! Yea! Things take on so much more meaning when you have kids. Valentines Day has ceased to become a day about romance and what you're going to get. Kids are happy for anything you can do with them! Starting with french toast and caramel syrup with whipped cream, pizza, the play Tortoise and the Hare, staying up late watching a movie with popcorn. Sometimes I really love my kids. Ok, maybe more than sometimes...

It is so hard to get Seth to take a picture because he blinks ALMOST EVERY TIME! He hates the flash. This was like the tenth picture. Thank goodness for digital cameras.

Emma, my model. Had to show off her magic wand for the camera.

Grace didn't even want to wait for the syrup. She picked it up with just butter on it and started at it.

Attestment to Prayer

Ok, I am NOT a very spiritual person. And I am not going into detail here. Suffice it to say things have been rough at home the last couple weeks. And its all (mostly) me. I had kinda given up, and honestly didn't care to make it any better. But I realized last night that if I didn't do something, I was going to end up institutionalized and divorced. So I prayed. Yeah, I said it. Prayed. Now, I say my prayers every now and then, but not like this. I like to think of my prayers as telephone calls, and so I just start talking. And as I did so, I came up with a few ways to help things along. But I had no idea what to do. Basically, I had to make me feel better. And I had run out of options. I went to bed very defeated. The defeatment increased throughout the night. And in the morning, I didn't feel any better. I got Emma off to school, got kids dressed and fed. I even managed to do the same myself. And then, He stepped in. He gave me clear and immediate insight into someone else, and all of a sudden I started to feel. Like I hadn't felt in a long time. Some people take these moments and chalk it up to their own ingenuity. I couldn't overlook who this came from. I just couldn't. I wish I had remembered this Primary answer earlier. Prayer and Scripture Study work miracles.

Sleep Deprivation

I am at a loss of what to do, so all you mothers out there, HELP! Seth has not slept through the night in at least a month, if not two. I can't even remember anymore. I can't tell if it's a combination of teeth, and learning how to crawl and stand. And he did have an ear infection a week ago, but has since recovered. I'm not sure I can take another sleepless night. He usually goes back to sleep but I have to physically get up and lay him back down and turn his music box/night light on. And then at 5 like clockwork, he wakes up and DEMANDS to get up. My rule is 6. So he screams bloody murder for an hour. I am a devout Ferberizer (yes, I do let my kids cry, with some limited parental interaction), but I've NEVER had it drag out like this. I know he can sleep alone and put himself back to sleep. He used to do it all the time, and he still does it during the day, all the time! What am I supposed to do?